50 First Dates

Review Haiku

It appears to me

That Adam Sandler once put

Some pride in his work

Rating: 3.5/5

Oof, this is a tough one, guys. I’ve had a long, busy day and this is the last thing I want to do.  Yet I soldier on.

The sad factor

When Harry Met Sally had some sadness. Friends With Benefits had heartbreak. Celeste and Jesse Forever was more tragedy than comedy at times. These three movies all share something in common: I enjoyed them quite a lot.

50 First Dates is a movie in the same vein. It has its moments of humor and lightheartedness, but it also has a gloomy aura that centers once again around memory issues.

I don’t love sadness. I’m a happy dude! Sadness, though, seems to give more depth to the story. It makes the romantic comedy seem more like a film than a vehicle for beautiful actors to make money. That a director could concoct a film that made Adam Sandler seem human is even more amazing. Sandler isn’t great in 50 First Dates, but it’s a weirdly understated performance that leaves the gross-out humor to side characters like Ula (played Rob Schneiderly but Rob Schneider). It was almost the anti-Sandler role. It didn’t fit him, but it worked better than it should have.

Side characters

Sandler and Drew Barrymore had zero funny scenes, which I found strange. They had…decent chemistry? I guess? But there were no memorable scenes and nothing that made me laugh.

The laughs came from the spectacular side characters.


He is played by Sean Astin of Lord of the Rings fame. His somewhat-muscle-bound-and-very-steroid-infused character combined witlessness with love for his sister to create a sympathetic and funny figure. He also acts exactly like you’d expect a person pumped up with PEDs would.


Is she a woman or isn’t she? That’s the least funny part of Alexa’s character. Her appearance is spot on and the accent is hilarious. Her attitude is what makes the character shine.


Played by Pomaika’i Brown, Nick works at the restaurant where Lucy finds herself every morning. He loves Reese’s and Spam and will not hesitate to let you know. He’s also enormous with a glowing smile.

Old Hawaiian Man

This guy had some truly excellent lines. Just a taste:

Lucy: “I wonder what’s the matter with him?”

Old Hawaiian Man: “Looks like a stupid asshole to me.”

Old Hawaiian Man: [about Henry’s drawing on a napkin] “Can I have that? I need something to wipe my ass with.”

Old Hawaiian Man: [talks in Hawaiian] “Which means, ‘look at those two shit heads.'”

This guy was fucking amazing.


It’s a walrus. How could you not love a walrus? He flops around and makes noises. It’s the life of a walrus. Side note: the walrus was incredibly well-trained. And spoiler alert: he didn’t die! A cute, memorable animal made it through a film unscathed. Hooray.

Final thoughts

This is a lazy review, I know: You’re begging for more content. I can feel it. I promise that tomorrow’s review will be better.

Rob Schneider: How does he still have a career?

Yoga: I did 90 minutes of yoga prior to watching this movie. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME

44% on Rotten Tomatoes: Frankly, I’m surprised by this rating. It wasn’t a 98% movie but I guessed it would at least be a 63% or something. Man, those critics can be brutal.

Sappiness Rating: 6/10. Not overly gooshy. I really liked that. It really made an effort to make the love seem real and not sugary sweet.


Very good movie. The complaints from critics come from the occasional crude humor that crops up. I disagree. Sure, there’s some crude humor – it’s an Adam Sandler movie, what do you expect – but it’s mostly confined to the sidelines. In that sense, a lot of it served the plot in no way, so it seemed a little unnecessary. But it wasn’t overpowering and didn’t affect the overall storyline.

To finish this review, I have one question: money and fame aside, would any woman hook up with Adam Sandler? Because for a portion of this movie, he’s literally drowning in women. It got me wondering. Let me know if you’d hook up with Adam Sandler, because I don’t see anything there and I’d be interested in what catches your attention if you find him attractive.


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